In www.aboutwhatwearebecoming.blogspot we have seen from the last two entries in that we need a coach with a healthy heart. The trouble is, it isn’t our business to stick our noses into other people’s business. Let me share an eternal truth; we are all proud and vain. Even those with a degree of humility seek not to take pride in their achievements, in other words, they are protecting their humility which pleases them, ergo they are proud of their humility. Living a transparent life shows that a man or woman is living well and is willing to be held to account. Should we trust the person who wants to keep their ‘personal’ life separate from other aspects of their life? should we be suspicious, what are they hiding? The point is that if you can’t live your life in the open there has to be a reason other than I am just a private person, what is it that you don’t want people to see? I am not against silence and solitude, it’s essential for the athlete and the busy mum however, community and openness is healthy, the contrary is not. Why on earth do you imagine that the loneliness of so many men, expected to be celibate by the Church of Rome, has led to appalling abuse? It is not good for man to be alone, these are lessons to be noted.
The good news is that we live in a culture where all sorts of unhealthy living is welcomed and encouraged. The equality and diversity lie means that people feel confident about behaving in ways that abuse in the name of choice. So the man who keeps a woman guessing by housing her, treating her and keeping her company but not entering into a lifetime legally binding covenant is happy for people to see his life. There are many maharaja who are proud of the whores they keep in their harems. I would avoid the advice of men who abuse women through an unwillingness to take binding oaths. Cowardice is not a virtue.
Just for the record beauty is not something to hide. In Sri Lanka a new government has introduced a policy of removing exotic art that features partially nude pictures of women. The trouble is that if you start imposing your standards of behaviour on others it’s not going to go well. I will always encourage men to look upon women as sisters and daughters but if we reach a stage where a girl in a bikini can’t go for a ride on her bike what then? I have a gorgeous wife, who is my treasure and standard of beauty. The woman on the bike is there to attract the attention of men who want to think about athletic performance which I submit is dependant on the condition of your heart. I want you to see the woman as vulnerable, precious and with equal value, dignity and worth. She has beauty that goes beyond the ‘frame’. We’ll take a look at how you reach that state of mind next time.